oh my goodness this gave me so many warm, fuzzy feelings <3 the ways mae and nyx interact, the atypical nature of their d/s relationship, the raw emotions they process, the pulse racing intimacy and kink play… their relationship is simply beautiful, and reading this made me weak in the knees at points. I’m definitely jealous of nyx’s position :3
I genuinely feel like this makes a great presentation for what I love about ABDL! it captures so much of the raw, emotional essence that I feel when I explore this kink… as well as the physical sensations and dynamics that make my heart flutter. this story makes me so happy!
in the start of the game, you said you’re curious about what led people to click the thumbnail and check it out. to be honest, I was browsing the ABDL tag (which I discovered from a kink game a friend shared with me) looking for something fun, and this was one of the more inviting entries I found. I was already considering making a new account to engage with this stuff more privately, and this story floored me so much I just had to register right away to gush about it!!
something else I want to touch on… normally, dubcon makes me anxious, but the way it’s handled here is actually comfortable? two reasons I can think of why that is are how vocal the girls are in navigating their relationship dynamic, and also the fact that it’s not written in second person which gives me some distance from the scene. on that note, I find the writing style for internal thoughts very interesting- it reminds me of describing actions when doing RP with others, which makes it a very cute effect here!
I’m definitely looking forward to anything you write next, whether it’s about these two still or other characters in this world, or something else entirely. there’s a lot of details hinted at about how different this society is from our own, and I’m curious to see where that leads wrt exploring this subject matter! but even if you don’t follow up that worldbuilding right away, the emotional strength of your writing has me hooked!
I really loved this VN! I actually clicked on it because it had a black lady on the display image (I'm black myself). I love the text and descriptions, the emotions and the kink--it was all very good!
And, since you asked for constructive criticism: I got a little confused by the narration perspective at the beginning. It might be helpful to have the girls use each other's names a little bit more in the beginning, to more firmly cement the narrative perspective, so I know who's holding whom and who's tightening their grip on whom.
Also, I REALLY liked that I could play it in-browser, without having to download it!
Thank-you for the lovely comment! I appreciate you letting me know what won over your click, and I’m glad you liked the feelings and descriptions and the kink too.
Your critique is fair and appreciated! I’ve been told once or twice that the alternating inner monologues are a bit confusing, but I think that using the characters’ names more at the start could help mitigate that. I’ll keep that in mind for my next editing pass!
This was super duper cute..!! I loved it so much, genuinely.
Some might call the topic niche, but frankly I wish there were more VNs about such things.
The focus on the feelings of the characters, too, was lovely. The story wasn't difficult to follow, and the art(even if it is unfinished) wonderfully compliments it(it's so cute!!!). The characters were also characterized well, and I love them both!!
Generally I'm just so happy to see a VN like this in this jam. Well done!!!
I'm looking forward to anything you may make next!
Thanks for your comment, I’m glad my little VN resonated with you! And ty for the compliments to my character writing. I feel like you are a fellow enjoyer of cuteness so it’s very good to hear that you liked my art as well.
Fingers crossed I’ll be making more VNs about such things in the near-ish future, so you’re more than welcome to stay tuned…!
ohh this was really cute! i've had similar difficult conversations like that, and it felt so real going through it with these two characters. i'm so interested in all the little implications made about the setting hehe... really good!!!
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oh my goodness this gave me so many warm, fuzzy feelings <3 the ways mae and nyx interact, the atypical nature of their d/s relationship, the raw emotions they process, the pulse racing intimacy and kink play… their relationship is simply beautiful, and reading this made me weak in the knees at points. I’m definitely jealous of nyx’s position :3
I genuinely feel like this makes a great presentation for what I love about ABDL! it captures so much of the raw, emotional essence that I feel when I explore this kink… as well as the physical sensations and dynamics that make my heart flutter. this story makes me so happy!
in the start of the game, you said you’re curious about what led people to click the thumbnail and check it out. to be honest, I was browsing the ABDL tag (which I discovered from a kink game a friend shared with me) looking for something fun, and this was one of the more inviting entries I found. I was already considering making a new account to engage with this stuff more privately, and this story floored me so much I just had to register right away to gush about it!!
something else I want to touch on… normally, dubcon makes me anxious, but the way it’s handled here is actually comfortable? two reasons I can think of why that is are how vocal the girls are in navigating their relationship dynamic, and also the fact that it’s not written in second person which gives me some distance from the scene. on that note, I find the writing style for internal thoughts very interesting- it reminds me of describing actions when doing RP with others, which makes it a very cute effect here!
I’m definitely looking forward to anything you write next, whether it’s about these two still or other characters in this world, or something else entirely. there’s a lot of details hinted at about how different this society is from our own, and I’m curious to see where that leads wrt exploring this subject matter! but even if you don’t follow up that worldbuilding right away, the emotional strength of your writing has me hooked!
I really loved this VN! I actually clicked on it because it had a black lady on the display image (I'm black myself). I love the text and descriptions, the emotions and the kink--it was all very good!
And, since you asked for constructive criticism: I got a little confused by the narration perspective at the beginning. It might be helpful to have the girls use each other's names a little bit more in the beginning, to more firmly cement the narrative perspective, so I know who's holding whom and who's tightening their grip on whom.
Also, I REALLY liked that I could play it in-browser, without having to download it!
Thank-you for the lovely comment! I appreciate you letting me know what won over your click, and I’m glad you liked the feelings and descriptions and the kink too.
Your critique is fair and appreciated! I’ve been told once or twice that the alternating inner monologues are a bit confusing, but I think that using the characters’ names more at the start could help mitigate that. I’ll keep that in mind for my next editing pass!
This was super duper cute..!! I loved it so much, genuinely.
Some might call the topic niche, but frankly I wish there were more VNs about such things.
The focus on the feelings of the characters, too, was lovely. The story wasn't difficult to follow, and the art(even if it is unfinished) wonderfully compliments it(it's so cute!!!). The characters were also characterized well, and I love them both!!
Generally I'm just so happy to see a VN like this in this jam. Well done!!!
I'm looking forward to anything you may make next!
Thanks for your comment, I’m glad my little VN resonated with you! And ty for the compliments to my character writing. I feel like you are a fellow enjoyer of cuteness so it’s very good to hear that you liked my art as well.
Fingers crossed I’ll be making more VNs about such things in the near-ish future, so you’re more than welcome to stay tuned…!
ohh this was really cute! i've had similar difficult conversations like that, and it felt so real going through it with these two characters. i'm so interested in all the little implications made about the setting hehe... really good!!!
Ty for your kind words!! I’m glad I was able to capture something like that, and that you enjoyed my little world-building details!